Thoughts and writing from past postings . . .
03/31/2016
The last day of March, 2016 and the year is moving ahead to April. As you go through your day, give yourself and others around you the opportunity to start each day as a new day. So many times we want to hold onto the past. Whether it is mistakes we made, or things someone said or did to us, we hold onto the hurt and anger we had at that time. If you want to move forward in life, you have to learn to let those thoughts, memories and emotions go. If you continue to hold onto it, there is no room in your mind or heart to allow new ones to come in. You have to tell yourself to let them go, and don't let those negative thoughts, memories, and emotions have control over you every day.
You have the power to move on and start again. Just as we have a sunrise and a sunset in each day, let your thoughts, memories and emotions have a sunset or closure, and move on to your new beginning or sunrise. If those things try to come back into your mind, close the door on them and do or think about something that makes you happy. If it is someone else who is giving you problems - a child, friend or loved one - allow them to have a "new day" and don't continue to hold their past decisions or behaviors over them. It really is a basic premise: we all want to be safe and feel loved! That can't happen if someone else - or yourself - is holding the past over you. Doing this will keep you moving in the right direction of your life.
Fall 2015: Walking in Waikiki, Hawaii . . .
Simply Real Life
04/25/2016
When I was in my middle school art class (required course), I had a teacher verbally tear down a drawing I spent a lot of time and effort on - in front of the whole class - embarrassing!!! : (
As an early intervention and elementary school age teacher, I had to plan "art" in my curriculum. It was always difficult for me to feel comfortable teaching this, because of the memories I had as a child. It took me a long time to understand I was artistic in other ways - working with difficult children, singing, cooking and baking, sewing, decorating, painting rooms in my house and other "fixer upper" projects. Because of that experience I went through, I was very careful how I talked to children about their efforts in art or any other curriculum area.
Words have so much power! I'm sure that teacher had no idea the impact his words had on my feelings about my artistic abilities. Use your words wisely . . . think about what you are saying and how you would feel if someone said that to you. Those words should build up a child or adult, strengthen them in their daily challenges, and help them to become who they are to be in life. Parents, teachers and anyone that is important to someone has the power to "help or hurt" with their words. Think about what you are saying before it comes out of your mouth. Its like hitting the send button without checking your email, message or text . . . you can't always edit or delete it once it is said.
May we all use our words to help others become better and happier human begins in life!
05/03/2016
Happy Teacher Appreciation Week! Happy May Day! Happy Lei Day!
Wow - this week has a lot of things to appreciate. Thank you to all of the teachers working so hard to make this a great learning year for your students. Something I always worked hard to promote with the parents/family members of my students was "they were also teachers for their child". They are actually the "first teacher" for that child. As this year comes to an end, and the IEPs are happening for those children in special education, I hope the teachers/IEP school staff remember that the parents are also part of the team. Listen to them, they know that child at home and outside school! Parents - you have so much information to bring to the meeting, and what you say is just as important
as all the test results being shared at the meeting.
Advocate for your child - share your concerns with the
team so you can work together. Just like the roots work
together to grow the plant or tree - all of you need to work
together because you are "the child's team" in their
simply real life!
1/17/2016
Sometimes we will get sick, and that has been my "simply real life" for the past 2 days. Although I am feeling a whole lot better - I still don't want to look at (or smell) any food. Tomorrow will be better!
During this time of forced rest, I have been able to do a lot of contemplating on the choices I have to make in the next few weeks. . .and I am following my Grandfather Locke's advice, "If you don't know what to do . . . don't do anything . . . it will all work out in the end." I am also following my Christian faith, and giving my troubles to God, as He already knows the answers are there for me to find.
04/21/2016
"Use what you have" . . .The last few days I have really wanted to do something to our patio, or as we say in Hawaii "lanai". My family had toys and the dog supplies piled up on the old table, with chairs sitting around it. I DID NOT want to sit outside or find it a very relaxing area. I also didn't have several hundred dollars to spend on a new outdoor furniture set. Sooooooooo . . . I decided to use what I had!
I went to the fabric store (love Fabric Mart here on Oahu, HI), spent $30.00 and got some outdoor material to recover the table and chairs. Then gathered my tools and put on a favorite movie to watch while I worked. The tools I used were a screw driver, staple gun, a plastic dish to put the screws in, a rag to dust off or clean, and scissors.
When you move here you tend to buy inexpensive furniture or buy secondhand off of Craigslist, unless you have tons of money to ship over what you already have or to buy new furniture. Also, the red volcanic dirt gets on everything so you are constantly cleaning it off of yourself, your children, the floors and furniture or the animals! You have to use bleach, Clorox Wipes, non-chlorine cleaners, the blueing wash (for the dogs) or Simplygreen (especially for the soles of your shoes).
I took off the chair seats, put them on the new vinyl fabric to use as the pattern and cut out the new seat covering. You can take off the old covering, but I just covered over it. Make sure before you cut there is enough material to go over the seat cushion edges - about 2 inches on all sides. Then you just fold it over, making the corners match the same way, and staple it. I staple the corners first, then the middle of each side, and then ease the material around to make the corners and put in the extra staples to hold it. Then I put on the new table covering ("wipe off" child, animal and red dirt friendly) and there you have it . . . So cheerful and inviting to sit outside and have my coffee, relax and visit, watch the kids play, and enjoy the day or evening that is a blessing from God!
1/19/2016
I took a walk around my parent's neighborhood in Hemet, CA yesterday. As I looked up, the thought came to my mind that our life is like the clouds - sometimes we can see the path we need to take - like seeing the sky through the clouds. Then the path may still be misty/gray/obscured but we know it is out there. Just keep moving forward, and stay focused on helping each other. Really, isn't loving one another and helping each other what life is all about! The clouds will clear again . . .
1/12/2016
Many times we are not looking for a transition in life, but it comes looking for us! Sometimes we are not even aware of a transition happening until we are right in the middle of it . . . Many people use the term "change" and "transition" as if it means the same thing. I think they are different. I think change is a part of when a transition is occurring, but can also be something that happens on it's own. You can change the way you wear your hair, or the type of shoes you have on. That doesn't mean there is going to be a transition for you. A change may be what you first notice, when a transition is beginning in you. It is part of the path you are on as you are going through the transition process.
04/28/2016
This picture reminds me of "life". Just like it takes lots of roots and branches to become a tree, children and adults need lots of lessons, interests and experiences to become who they are to be in life. I love cooking, baking, gardening, decorating, sewing, spending family time, having time alone, delving deeper into the Bible and my growth as a Christian, music, exploring, traveling, and learning. Those are my "roots" that make up the "tree" of my life. Children and adults need nourishment to develop their "roots". By this I mean they need to be exposed to lots of different kinds of lessons, activities, and experiences to determine what they like, what they are good at - which will develop the strong roots for their "tree" of life. The element that needs to be included in this is time. All of us have roots that are still growing - learning a new skill or interest grows new roots - but it takes time. I know, sometimes that time is just not there in the day. Look at your schedule for the day or week, and see if there is anything that is not contributing to your life and growth. Then decide if you should still let it use your time. Also, when trying something new - give yourself or someone else - time to really try it. They if it still doesn't feel right, try something else! Keep learning . . .Keep growing . . . Give yourself - or someone else - time!
2/24/2016
As I am writing this, I have been spending the last few months taking care of my parents and my youngest adult son. I have gone to multiple doctor appointments, driven hundreds of miles, flown from Hawaii to California - back to Hawaii - and will be returning to California in the next few weeks. I am sharing this because it represents many of us, and the decisions we are having to make every day. Anyone with parents in their 70-80's knows what I am talking about. . .we are having to become more involved in "caring" for them now. Also, if you have a adult child who has special needs or mental health issues, you know how much you have to advocate for them - no matter what their age - while still allowing them their independence. Its a hard job finding that balance!
I told my Mom and Dad they could still do work around the house and yard, they just needed to find another way to do it. Some examples are I worked as my Mom's assistant chef, gathering the ingredients, pots and the cooking utensils, and helping to cut up the vegetables, while she did the mixing at the table or cooked at the stove. My Dad made up the grocery lists, told me where to put the items, and I told him about any price changes or other items I know they use that I saw on sale when at the store.
Something I have found helpful with my son is if you don't have legal rights to handle their finances and business, ask the agency or business if they have a form that can be signed by your adult child, giving you permission to talk for them (health insurance, social security or another government agency, as examples). I will talk to my son about what they told me, and we decide together what is the best option for him in his life. He wants to make his own decisions and feel like he is being independent, but doesn't have the ability to understand the long range effects, or the IQ level and focus to handle all the forms and requirements needed for business with the government agencies. An example of this is it took over a week of daily phone calls, and forms faxed/overnight mailed, to provide proof/update his profile showing he was a US citizen for his health insurance or it would be cancelled. This affected his doctor appointments for that week, and his medication refills!
So "don't give up . . . and remember to give yourself a moment to breath!" We are all trying to live that "simply real life", although this is may look different for each of us.
03/27/2016
Happy Easter! As you read this, my hope is that you enjoy this day and think of the reason for celebration. Although I am not able to physically be with my sons, daughter in law, and grandsons, I am thinking of all of you and love you so much. I am able to be with my parents, sisters and their family and truly appreciate and am blessed to be able to share this time with them (you never know when that time is going to be gone). I pray everyone reading this is able to find something in life they enjoy, because no matter how difficult life is we can always find something to bring us hope and joy. A sunrise, a sunset, a flower, the sky, a pet, a poem, a child's laughter . . .
One of the recent updates made to the sidewalks in Waikiki, Hawaii are these pavement stones with important words in Hawaiian. There are several other words I found during my walk, but I am going to focus on these two. You will hear "Mahalo" said, as a way to express someone's thanks. I felt this word was appropriate, as we are in the month of November, and it is a time when you are contemplating what you are thankful for in your life.
The word for land or earth, "'Aina" becomes very precious when you are living on an island. You realize the importance of caring for the 'aina or land, because if you don't you won't survive very long. Becoming self sustaining, and understanding that you must think about the footprint you are making on the land has a deeper meaning in Hawaii. If you want the island to survive and remain a place of beauty, you must think about how you are living. The items you ship here, the things you buy, and the way you dispose of unwanted items must be considered. The consequences of how you are living and caring for the 'aina are much more immediate when on an island versus on the larger continents.
Next time you are "in town", or if you are planning a vacation to Waikiki, go for a walk and check out these words on the sidewalk!
2/14/2016
Happy Valentine's Day! One of the hardest things for me to come to terms with after my husband died, was this day and how to get through it. I finally had to redefine what this day means. Commercialism wants us to just focus on the "romantic" side of someone being our "Valentine". But if you remember when you were a child, it meant giving that special valentine to your best friend, or to someone else you cared about and loved! It didn't mean it was your husband, wife, significant other or that special person in your life - it was anyone and everyone special in your life.
Today I choose to wish my sons, daughter in law, grandsons, parents, brothers and sisters, and friends Happy Valentine's Day. Also, I am wishing everyone who reads this that you may also have a Happy Valentine's Day! I am also challenging you to do this to someone else. It doesn't mean you have to give them a card or gift - a smile, hug, or kind word can mean so much more than a gift.
The gate in this picture was built by my brother for his wife. I am using it as a visual concept for today's thought. If you are having a difficult time getting through this day (like I used to!), think about climbing over it, going around it, crawling through it, walk away and take another path, or just OPEN IT and see where this path takes you!
5/08/2016 "View it another way . . ."
Happy Mother's Day!
I want to take a moment to wish all the moms, and dads, grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings who are also "mom", a blessed and special day. No matter what happens today, know that you are doing a very special job for those that depend on you every day. Even if no one else acknowledges you today, you can acknowledge yourself! Have a favorite coffee/tea drink, buy yourself a gift, watch that favorite movie/show, take a few minutes to yourself . . . you deserve it.
Working for so many years as a special education teacher, one thing I realized early on was that sometimes you need to change how you view something. It may seem like things will never change, when actually we need to change how we view something. Just like the picture above - when viewed as posted - is difficult to figure out. But if you change how you view it, it becomes a beautiful picture of the North Shore on Oahu, Hawaii.
Today, change how you are viewing that child, adult, or yourself. Look at the issue from a different direction to see if there is another way you can do it. Think about what has been done in the past, where you were a year ago compared to where you are know. Acknowledge the little steps accomplished toward your goal. Its not how far you have gone, its that you are always learning, moving, growing and becoming who you should be in this "simply real life"!
04/10/2016
As I am writing this, I am finishing up this Sunday evening after watching my 21 year old son run and finish the Hapalua half marathon in Honolulu, HI. While waiting for him to go past certain pre-determined cheering spots, I did some "people watching" of the other runners. As I watched, I kept thinking about the one thing all of them had in common - running! It doesn't matter how they were dressed, how their wore their hair or what their nationality might be. They all had the desire to run and finish this half marathon. Michael has overcome so many challenges in his life, but running allows him to feel like he is "normal" and has a common interest and the same challenges as other people. This year he also raised donations for Special Olympics Hawaii by running in this race, and is helping others feel accepted, understood and loved! Here is Michael's challenge to you: What can you do to help someone else feel accepted, understood and loved?
1/9/2016
As we begin the 2016 New Year, one word that has been going over and over again in my head is "Transition"! As we go through our life, there are several times that mark a transition into the next phase of life. These transitions can either be a major life event - like a birth, graduation, leaving for college, change in your job or profession, marriage, separation or even a death - something that marks a certain shift in your life. I am finding myself in one of those times of transition.
I will be writing more on this over the next few days so check back. . .until next time, may you find yourself willing to take a chance and have faith that your journey will lead you to something better. . .
04/17/2016
Today is my oldest son's birthday - and last night I was remembering what had happened when I went into labor, and how excited my husband and I were at his birth 38 years ago. Today holds another memory though, as it was the last day I spent with my husband alive. Nine years ago I had planned to go to work, but instead I took it off to go to his doctor's appointment. Then we celebrated our son's birthday by going on a picnic at the park, and calling him to wish him happy birthday together. It was a relaxing, peaceful and close time. I will always cherish this memory of our last day together, and how we really talked about our life and family!
There are so many times we don't understand why we are doing something, we just "know" that is what we need to do. I woke up nine years ago, and knew I needed to take the day off from teaching. I also know the experience and memory of our last day is what got me through the next day when he died. It is what gave me peace and strength, and continues to help me today. I know my husband is watching over us in Heaven, and is here with us today to celebrate.
There are things that happen we just don't understand: why did my husband die the day after our oldest son's birthday? He was disabled from diabetes and heart disease for almost ten years, why that day? I do know the experiences I went through led me to help several coworkers who lost their husbands a few years later. We became a support system for each other.
As I go through today and celebrate my oldest son's birthday, I am going to focus on the blessings of our children and grandchildren. We never know when our last day will be on Earth. Use each day to make a difference: finish that project; call your parents, siblings, children and friends; start doing something you always dreamed of doing in your lifetime. Face those dreams and challenges, no matter how big or small, just take that first step. . .it will lead you to the next step, and eventually you will find you are moving on to other ideas, dreams and challenges. That is "simply real life", your life - not someone else's life. You may not always be successful, just do the best you can at that time.
No matter what you are going through today, believe you have the strength and ability to make it!
03/18/2016
Well, it has been a really busy few weeks since my last post. I am currently back in California for the last few weeks, but will be flying back to Hawaii for the next two months at least. Family - love them so much! It isn't easy to be gone, but I know they are trying to get back to their "normal life", and my two sisters will be here to help them too. I have a few things to do with my family in Hawaii . . . as in Special Olympics Games!!! I will be writing more on this over the next few months, but greatly encourage anyone and everyone to get involved with this organization. You need to have an intellectual disability to train and compete as an athlete, but you can also train to coach, or there are always many opportunities to volunteer. I have included a link under my "Links page". Check it out and then look for your area - it is a global organization!